My mum has no neck. Literally. We had breakfast somewhere, in public unfortunately, and I informed her of this fact. I speak rather monotone and quiet and no one else heard. If you cannot tell, I am suggesting she is a rather robust lady.
Don't feel bad for her. She once went on a bizarre fitness and alcoholism craze before I began to rapidly lose weight, critiquing me. She quit that and brings home generic Target cupcakes and shit often. Now she cannot fit into pajama pants I want to throw away. Ironically, she is the only fatty. I should tell her about Fat Fighters.
There is a common misconception one who plays WOW (or World of Warcraft) must be a nerd and that is a lie. The majority of them are not nerds, but instead (perverted) neckbeards. There is a difference. A nerd is whatever some bellend wants to believe it is, while a neckbeard is someone who has a combination of a beard with no neck. Like my ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend. Whoops.
My hand lotion is extraordinarily cheap. Germ-X it's called? It spits at me whenever it wants to. For example, say washing your hands would be an inconvenience when the bathroom is occupied. In that situation it's better to go to your room and use this anti-bacterial.
However, this thing will spit at you on occasion. You just want your hands to be clean and germ-free, right? Well, sometimes when you squeeze it it will hit the lower half of your chin and upper half of your chin. Do you see what I am getting at? You don't want to run into someone within an hour in a hallway with those kind of shirt marks?
Having a nosebleed while tipsy is nice. Bye, nigga.
*(Censored) fist bump*
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